People who handle stress well tend to employ what stress experts call an
"optimistic explanatory style." They don't beat themselves up when
things don't work out in their favor.
So instead of using statements that catastrophize an incident, like "I'm
a complete failure," they might say to themselves, "I need to work on
my backhand." Or they'll transfer blame to an external source. Rather
than saying, "I really blew that presentation," it's, "That was a tough
group to engage."
Replace the word "expect" with "hope." Expectations can only be used for
those things over which you have the greatest personal control. You can
expect to quench your thirst with a drink of water. You cannot expect
to get the job you just interviewed for. You can hope to get it.
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